Be a life-long pen friend!

by Laura Martin

I've been involved in the postal pen pal hobby for over 20 years now. (Am I THAT old?? Yikes!) I have found postal correspondence to be a fun, positive, and addicting hobby. However, one disappointing aspect is all the pen pals that have "come and go" over the years. People seem to "drop in" and "drop out" of the pen pal hobby. It is disappointing to suddenly stop hearing from someone, or to receive a letter that says, "My life has changed and I can't write pals anymore." Over the years, I have received a variety of "excuses" as to why people can no longer correspond: they've gotten married, or had a baby, or gotten a promotion at work - and there is simply "no time" for pen pals anymore. But some of us have managed to maintain a lifelong commitment to postal correspondence despite all of the ups, downs, and changes of life. How have we done it? It's not hard to keep up with letter writing, but you need to learn to manage your time and not go overboard. Here are some ideas and suggestions.

Know your limits.

In your zeal to correspond, don't go overboard. Be realistic. Whether you are brand new to the hobby or just want to increase your current involvement, slowly increase your number of correspondents. It is definitely not a good idea to suddenly jump from 0 to 20 pen pals or from 10 to 30 pen pals. While an overflowing mailbox may be exciting, you will soon feel overwhelmed and frustrated as you drown in a sea of letters. If you slowly increase your number of pals, you will eventually discover the number you can handle. My limit is about 15, after which I can no longer keep up. Discover your limit and stick with it.

Keep organized.

Every pen pal needs some system of organization. It will help your hobby to run more smoothly. If you are unorganized, you will waste a lot of time. My simple method of keeping organized is index cards. I have each pen pal fill out an index card for me that contains basic facts about themselves. This way I have quick info at my fingertips. I don't have to waste time hunting for a lost address, or rummaging through a stack of old letters to find a birthday.

Write anywhere.

A wonderful aspect of the letter writing hobby is that it can be done just about anywhere! I keep a pad of stationery with me just about all the time, so I can write a letter on a moments notice! I have written letters in all kinds of places - while on my break at work, in doctor or dentist waiting rooms, or while sitting in a car line waiting to pick someone up. In fact, much of my letter writing is done away from home!

The rhythm of life.

Lets face it; there are ups and downs to life. Marriage, family, employment, education. Life is about change. The time it takes you to respond to letters may vary depending on the stage of your life. Just let your pen friends know what is going on. There is nothing wrong with saying, "Please know that I may be slower getting back to you as I adjust to being a new mother." Let them know you value their friendship, but you just won't be able to write back as quickly. Your pen friends should understand, as they have experienced the rhythm of life too.

The hobby of postal correspondence is about making friends through the mail. Should you just "drop your friends" because your life has changed in some way? Friendship should mean more than that, shouldn't it? I hope some of these ideas will help you maintain a lifelong commitment to the friends you've made at the mailbox.