Introverts are Pen Pals

First, I have a theory that many or even most pen pal friends are introverts like me. If you'd like to read my two cents on this hobby, hit the link below to check it out. Makes perfect sense to me -- we like being alone, we like to think and write, so why not reach out to the world, but in our own type of conversations -- pen pal snail mail!

Further down this page, you'll find pen pal responses to my theory... let's see what they think!

Wendy's Introvert and Pen Pals Theory...

Anna Brooker, England - I’ve always been an introvert and I’ve always had pen pals, so I think there is a correlation between the two. For me, a shy child, and still a rather shy adult, I have found it is easier to write than to talk. Not because I am antisocial but because I like the idea that I can take time to consider what I want to say before I say it.

I think having pen pals allows you to mull over what you are going to say; it may take away a little of the spontaneity of a talking face to face, but in the end you have a conversation with more depth that explores more facets of the topic. It’s kind of like the difference between reading a magazine and a book. A magazine gives you a good idea of the subject you are reading about but a book will give you a more rounded image because it isn’t on a monthly deadline and isn’t limited to space.

I like talking to people, don’t get me wrong, but my pen pals don’t care if I’m in my fuzzy slippers or having my hair done while I write to them!

Also, when you write to a pen pal, you already know you have at least one thing in common with them. I just never know what to say when I am in a situation where I have to go in without a net!

Lis - I was a hard-core extrovert as a child. I loved to sing and dance on table tops, play with other kids at recess, especially 4-square, hopscotch, and tether-ball. I also loved the rainy-day games. In fact, I prefered rainy day activities! lol! Doggy, doggy where's your bone? Remember that one?

In later childhood (preteens to early teens,) I continued being primarily extroverted. I was usually talking and or joking with peers and in some classes was the offical class clown/rebel. ;) I didn't really love attention, especially not the negative attention from the teachers. I did however love to make my peers feeling good, and laughing.

I knew most of my peers had hard lives just like I did. Many had it even worse, in fact. Home problems, financial problems in the families, learning problems that were being ignored by the school system, and so on. It gave me great joy and pride to take sad and sometimes blank faces, light up and sometimes even break out in laughter! :)

Then, in my later teen years. I got very ill with pneumonia. I stopped being able to dance at school dances as I used. So I stopped going to them altogether. I also noticed a great reduction in my energy level. It kind of felt like Superman would with kryptonite straped to his side. :( Soon thereafter, I caught every cold, flu, etc. and was very sick and tired all of the time. I lost touch with friends over time, and then things got worse. Before I knew it the only things that had not changed about me was my interest in the arts.

I was no longer an energetic, extroverted, "free spirit." I was a very introverted, deep-thinking/feeling, analytical, quiet person. My writing was dark and deep in tone. I stopped pen paling for several years. The daring, outspoken, energetic youth was stolen away by many negative life experiences and by chronic illness related to my disease...Lupus.

But... the good news is in the last couple of years I have found myself being more open, talkative and daring. I even dress in more bold and bright colors...and what's more I have revived my interest in pen paling/ writing!

I guess one could say I used to be an introverted extrovert. Now I am becoming an extroverted introvert. What can I say? I am Gemini after all.

Marie Baker I totally agree. All my friends are extroverts (four) and my family as well. I am the only one that is an introvert and proud of it! I write letters and enjoy one on one, yes talk to me about arts and crafts or do-it-yourself and I talk a mile a minute (that is only to friends and family).

I've been to parties and sat it out with no problem. I do love gardening and take up to 2 hours at tops working in mine. I truly believe introverts are the majority of letter writers! And I believe we, introverts, put more energy and personality on paper and to our "pen-pals" that we would not even consider in person.

For me, this works and I don't regret doing it this way. I enjoy people but I just can't deal with more than two at a time (and that is asking for tooo much). Hey! Call us introverts selfish but I believe we are more concerned with quality NOT quantity! That is just my humble opinion (see how I rambled on?!).

Joyce I've been writing to penpals since the 50's when I was in grade school. Did having these friends all these years MAKE me an introvert, OR do I enjoy them so much because being an introvert is just my personality???